An A to Z of essential net.goth fashion items
A is for Amphetamines, but seeing as they are not a fashion item and they are
illegal we'll have to think of something else - you get really great cheek
bones though, but you tend to turn into a paranoid psychotic junkie after a
while. Um.. Apple? oh, I know, Army Surplus stuff - combat's and para boots
and the like for when you go off following some band or other all over the
place. Yeah, that's it. TaB recommends German Army stuff which has been
dyed black (unless you are in Germany, in which case you can get some of that
Russian stuff that they had in Berlin last time I was there)
B is for bat: The bat is an essential logo, tattoo, pet, or item of
jewellery. Partly because of it's vampiric associations, but also because
they are cute and easy to draw.
C is for cloak: Opera capes are warm, stylish, keep the rain off your
leathers, and are handy for concealing pump-action shot guns, samurai swords,
or bottles of wine under.
D is for DM's: Not the ultimate goth boot as it doesn't have enough buckles,
points, heels etc. But a very useful day-to-day/going to festivals type boot.
You need at least 12 holes and again don't be confused into buying them in
colours like: purple, red, invisible etc., but rather stick to the traditional
E is for Extensions: Add these to your head and you too can have knee length
hair. Remember to wash them in bleach free washing powder and fabric
F is for feathers: You can put feathers in your hair, your ear-rings, anywhere
you like. From pigeon feathers for day to day wear, to eagle feathers for the
Southern Death Cult Fan to Peacock feathers for the utterly demented
G is for Goth, as having another with you counts as a fashion accessory!
H is for haircut: see our Beauty section for more details, but never
underestimate the importance of hair. If you have short orange curly hair
then get a Hat which also begins with H. There are lots of different types
of hat, but we suggest Opera Hats, Top Hats, or Preacherman style Fedoras;
or wide brimmed hats with lots of lace veils and black feathers for the
funereal girly look.
I is for Individuality, which is why this A-Z is not dictating exactly what
and how to wear things, but rather trying to give you some ideas that you
can put together so you don't look like everyone else. I quite often see
someone in the street and think it's a friend of mine. The truth is it isn't,
but rather someone who either looks exactly like her, or someone who she
looks exactly like, or maybe they're both trying to look like someone else,
how should I know? Stop bothering me and go onto the next letter.
J is for Jacket: One of the few essential points of conformity is that
it really must be black. What you paint on it, stick on it, and tie on it is
really up to you. A waterproof fabric paint is the best type to use if you
want to do it yourself.
K is for martial arts, such as Karate, Kung-Fu, Kendo, Kenjutsu, and all the
ones that don't begin with K. Useful for dealing with the indie-kid/casual/
redneck problem. Not really a fashion accessory, rather a fashion statement.
L is for Lunch Box: I quite like the black batman one with the matching cup,
but whatever you choose make sure it's customized with stickers or whatever.
Ammunition Boxes are also popular in LA, but then they're probably easier to
get hold of there.
M is for Make-Up Kit: at an absolute minimum it should contain some white
foundation and an eyeliner pencil. Ideally you'll have some blush and a can
of extreme conditions ultra hold hairspray from HELL
N is for net.goth T-shirts (available from TaB or by ftp)
O if for Outrageous clothes.ie: Corsets, cross-dressing, fish-nets on the
arms, Rubber, Leather etc,etc (we know they're not really that outrageous, we
just needed something to fill up the letter 'O'.
P is for PVC: This is very popular in London at the moment, especially with
the DiJ brigade. They have become known as "Plastic Goths" which someone
thought was a kind of action man (TM) doll until it was pointed out that
there was no crushed velvet action man (TM) clothes, and even if he did
borrow Barbies (TM) there was still no saving his haircut. Anyway don't buy
cheap PVC clothes as they tend to fall to pieces on the dance floor when
you are trying to impress someone.
Q is for 'Quantum Goth', a look you want to try and avoid. It usually
consists of a brand new band t-shirt and either black levi's or long tasselled
skirts and army boots or Doc Martens. Often a larval stage for indie kids
trying to make the transition to gothic butterflyhood so unless they get in
your way it's decidedly unkind to rip their heads off. (see Extreme
Violence: Indie Kids, Techniques: pages 101-534)
R is for Rat: a wonderful fashion accessory but read our section on pet care
before getting one. Also make sure that it's house trained and that it
doesn't have the plague as smelling of urine and having huge swelling is more
usually associated with [insert your least favourite sub-culture here].
S is for Skin art: Tattoo's and Scarification (there's no such thing as a
stick on scar, actually there is, but it's crap and it keeps falling off.
You could always use Epoxy resin.)
T is for T-shirts: Alien sex fiend, Bauhaus, Fields of the Nephilim
(last of the western hero's only), Ghost Dance, Rosetta Stone (gothic as f**k),
Sisters of Mercy, to name but a few. Fashion gurus dictate that the sleeves
should either be cut off or turned into a sort of shredded effect
(see Knitting Patterns)
U is for Umbrella which is near enough essential over here as it always seems
to rain after I have spent 2 hours getting ready. Large umbrellas are good,
plastic see through ones with pink plastic handles which blow away in the
slightest breeze are less handy. Sometimes a small foldable one can fit in
the sleeve of your jacket and be used quite effectively on the dance floor
V is for Victorian/Vampire look: frock coats, long dresses, corsets, frilly
shirts, top hats, sword sticks, long teeth etc. etc.
W is for 'Where the hell did you buy that?' to which you should either reply
'up yours!' if they are being rude, or 'I had it made specially!' if they
really like it and you actually got it at the store round the corner and
they have racks of them available half price (remember stay unique)
X is for body piercing (as in what a pain it is having to take them all out
if you have to have an X-Ray). Remember lads, having a ring through the end
of your willy makes you pee like a watering can [Source - Zodiac Mindwarp]
Y is for Yellow (also orange, pink, green, blue, gold lamé etc.) which are
colours to avoid like the plague (see Rat)
Z is for Zoo, where you can adopt an animal like a bat, or a penguin if you
want to. If you ask nicely and tell them that you are a reporter for
Take a Bite they will let you take the animal home with you, or maybe to a
club. (Then again they might not, which is a good idea if you adopt a wolf).
Take a Bite
First published in 1993
(c) 1993 Battlebridge