An A to Z of essential net.goth fashion items

A

is for Amphetamines, but seeing as they are not a fashion item and they are illegal we'll have to think of something else - you get really great cheek bones though, but you tend to turn into a paranoid psychotic junkie after a while. Um.. Apple? oh, I know, Army Surplus stuff - combat's and para boots and the like for when you go off following some band or other all over the place. Yeah, that's it. TaB recommends German Army stuff which has been dyed black (unless you are in Germany, in which case you can get some of that Russian stuff that they had in Berlin last time I was there)

B

is for bat: The bat is an essential logo, tattoo, pet, or item of jewellery. Partly because of it's vampiric associations, but also because they are cute and easy to draw.

C

is for cloak: Opera capes are warm, stylish, keep the rain off your leathers, and are handy for concealing pump-action shot guns, samurai swords, or bottles of wine under.

D

is for DM's: Not the ultimate goth boot as it doesn't have enough buckles, points, heels etc. But a very useful day-to-day/going to festivals type boot. You need at least 12 holes and again don't be confused into buying them in colours like: purple, red, invisible etc., but rather stick to the traditional black..

E

is for Extensions: Add these to your head and you too can have knee length hair. Remember to wash them in bleach free washing powder and fabric conditioner.

F

is for feathers: You can put feathers in your hair, your ear-rings, anywhere you like. From pigeon feathers for day to day wear, to eagle feathers for the Southern Death Cult Fan to Peacock feathers for the utterly demented

G

is for Goth, as having another with you counts as a fashion accessory!

H

is for haircut: see our Beauty section for more details, but never underestimate the importance of hair. If you have short orange curly hair then get a Hat which also begins with H. There are lots of different types of hat, but we suggest Opera Hats, Top Hats, or Preacherman style Fedoras; or wide brimmed hats with lots of lace veils and black feathers for the funereal girly look.

I

is for Individuality, which is why this A-Z is not dictating exactly what and how to wear things, but rather trying to give you some ideas that you can put together so you don't look like everyone else. I quite often see someone in the street and think it's a friend of mine. The truth is it isn't, but rather someone who either looks exactly like her, or someone who she looks exactly like, or maybe they're both trying to look like someone else, how should I know? Stop bothering me and go onto the next letter.

J

is for Jacket: One of the few essential points of conformity is that it really must be black. What you paint on it, stick on it, and tie on it is really up to you. A waterproof fabric paint is the best type to use if you want to do it yourself.

K

is for martial arts, such as Karate, Kung-Fu, Kendo, Kenjutsu, and all the ones that don't begin with K. Useful for dealing with the indie-kid/casual/ redneck problem. Not really a fashion accessory, rather a fashion statement.

L

is for Lunch Box: I quite like the black batman one with the matching cup, but whatever you choose make sure it's customized with stickers or whatever. Ammunition Boxes are also popular in LA, but then they're probably easier to get hold of there.

M

is for Make-Up Kit: at an absolute minimum it should contain some white foundation and an eyeliner pencil. Ideally you'll have some blush and a can of extreme conditions ultra hold hairspray from HELL

N

is for net.goth T-shirts (available from TaB or by ftp)

O

if for Outrageous clothes.ie: Corsets, cross-dressing, fish-nets on the arms, Rubber, Leather etc,etc (we know they're not really that outrageous, we just needed something to fill up the letter 'O'.

P

is for PVC: This is very popular in London at the moment, especially with the DiJ brigade. They have become known as "Plastic Goths" which someone thought was a kind of action man (TM) doll until it was pointed out that there was no crushed velvet action man (TM) clothes, and even if he did borrow Barbies (TM) there was still no saving his haircut. Anyway don't buy cheap PVC clothes as they tend to fall to pieces on the dance floor when you are trying to impress someone.

Q

is for 'Quantum Goth', a look you want to try and avoid. It usually consists of a brand new band t-shirt and either black levi's or long tasselled skirts and army boots or Doc Martens. Often a larval stage for indie kids trying to make the transition to gothic butterflyhood so unless they get in your way it's decidedly unkind to rip their heads off. (see Extreme Violence: Indie Kids, Techniques: pages 101-534)

R

is for Rat: a wonderful fashion accessory but read our section on pet care before getting one. Also make sure that it's house trained and that it doesn't have the plague as smelling of urine and having huge swelling is more usually associated with [insert your least favourite sub-culture here].

S

is for Skin art: Tattoo's and Scarification (there's no such thing as a stick on scar, actually there is, but it's crap and it keeps falling off. You could always use Epoxy resin.)

T

is for T-shirts: Alien sex fiend, Bauhaus, Fields of the Nephilim (last of the western hero's only), Ghost Dance, Rosetta Stone (gothic as f**k), Sisters of Mercy, to name but a few. Fashion gurus dictate that the sleeves should either be cut off or turned into a sort of shredded effect (see Knitting Patterns)

U

is for Umbrella which is near enough essential over here as it always seems to rain after I have spent 2 hours getting ready. Large umbrellas are good, plastic see through ones with pink plastic handles which blow away in the slightest breeze are less handy. Sometimes a small foldable one can fit in the sleeve of your jacket and be used quite effectively on the dance floor (see dance)

V

is for Victorian/Vampire look: frock coats, long dresses, corsets, frilly shirts, top hats, sword sticks, long teeth etc. etc.

W

is for 'Where the hell did you buy that?' to which you should either reply 'up yours!' if they are being rude, or 'I had it made specially!' if they really like it and you actually got it at the store round the corner and they have racks of them available half price (remember stay unique)

X

is for body piercing (as in what a pain it is having to take them all out if you have to have an X-Ray). Remember lads, having a ring through the end of your willy makes you pee like a watering can [Source - Zodiac Mindwarp]

Y

is for Yellow (also orange, pink, green, blue, gold lamé etc.) which are colours to avoid like the plague (see Rat)

Z

is for Zoo, where you can adopt an animal like a bat, or a penguin if you want to. If you ask nicely and tell them that you are a reporter for Take a Bite they will let you take the animal home with you, or maybe to a club. (Then again they might not, which is a good idea if you adopt a wolf).


Take a Bite
First published in 1993
by Battlebridge

pub@batt.demon.co.uk

(c) 1993 Battlebridge


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