right! here we go!
it seems, that in these passing times, it has become fashionable, nay, perhaps even (scoff!) *required* of goths very much like ourselves that they reflect upon life itself with the most cynical and morose of countenances.
we, the perkygoths of the world, stand in the face of this, and reclaim our heritage as follows!
1. we realize, and perhaps even declare publically, the simple fact that our attire and decorative tastes are downright *silly*, yet in the face of this impractical and sometimes even inconvenient nature of things, we LAUGH! yes, all those skirts make the boys have to piss like girls, but hey! it contributes toward greater understanding between the sexes!
2. there *is* no "standard" behaviour or code of any sort for a member of the so-called "underground", you silly gits! why, who ever thought of anything so bleeding preposterous?! if i want to skip across the dance floor to see a friend, well damn it all, im *going* to! and about that smile i was wearing last week at the club, yes, it *was* mine! no, my mother did *not* make me wear it!
3. um, just cause i look like a "goth" right this very instant does *not* preclude me *not* looking like a goth sometime tommorrow. after the shock and horror of this realization passes by, you will note that its actually quite fun to inject a little variety into things.
4. on *that* note, neither are we required to listen *solely* to "goth" or "death rock" or "darkwave". we *are*, however, allowed to physically assault the next person who scowls at us for slapping that p-funk, hard techno, or riot grrrl record on the turntable immediately after playing sisters or somesuch.
4.5. and while im thinking about it, were also allowed to clobber anyone at a club who whines about the dj playing too much "goth" and not enough "death rock" or something of that ilk.
5. but, if theres one thing we *mustnt* ever do, under any circumstances, it is lord our knowledge over that of others. if there is a sin, dear perkygoths, it is self-righteousness and pomposity. we simply *mustnt* go out and wave all that nifty info we just read out of good old mr. mercers handy-dandy goth guide as if wed known it all along. cause face it, most of us werent even there when half of that stuff happenned. (there *are* exceptions, of course, but they arent allowed to lord their knowledge either, nor are they supposed to reflect in a nostalgic and whiney manner)
6. oh! right! back to perky! um, stomping in mud puddles in perfectly acceptable. dancing and *realizing* that you look like a complete idiot is heartily encouraged. continuing to dance, no matter how amny other peple are also noting that you look like an idiot, is even more heartily encouraged. remember kids, the looks or the lifestyle? the lifestyle, of course. youre a perkygoth. dont just look like a looney, *act* like one! its much more fufilling than primping in a mirror all night.
7. um, i forgot the rest. probably didnt even think of them to begin with. ive prolly lied about everything so far. uh, am i getting paid to do this? what was i saying?
7.5. just remember, fun is your middle name. or at least its *somewhere* in your vocabulary. whatever youre doing, think to yourself: "am i having FUN?" if no, time to do something else. a short attention span means you dont have *time* to get bored and mope!
let *this* be our rallying cry!
"DO NOT STAND IN OUR WAY! WE WILL WALK AROUND YOU!"
(inspiration credits to: huggy bear, girlfrenzy, the polecats, and that coffee i had last night. its worn off now, and not affecting me, but just thinking about it... whoosh! time for more!)